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the result of my first semester of llb

 this is an overdue post. i am now currently @ uia, waiting for iftar time. today is my first day of my second sem in uia.  of course, first week will always be hectic due to manual registration, i was dead-ass tired from the endless walking from kulliyyah to kulliyyah. but better than sem 1 la. ok, ive gotten my result ..back in 26 of february. yep.. few days ago. but as i said, i was too busy to write. lets begin with my expectation. honestly speaking, i dont know what to expect. my carry marks were just so-so. Not just that, i was being far too kind to myself because i had not the best time adjusting here. so i kind of.. "its okay bat, rest now you are so tired" BUT MAYBE BECAUSE I AM. maybe i expected some B+. A and A-. i expected 2.9... or 3.5.... or 3.67...... but anw heres my result  i am tooo grateful for this result. alhamdulillah. but i still feel like i can do better. lets just hope that i get the numbers up this semester yea. maybe i have underestimated myself...
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sem 1 is done!

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yesterday, i wrapped up my semester one for my LLB journey. 1 sem down, 7 more to go.  this semester is pretty.. confusing.... a "try and error" sem.  The entire sem is just me figuring things out. but i guess it's better that i do that now, rather than tunggu sem lain right? at least, at the very least, i already know what strategy i will implement next semester. given the name is try and error semester, my carrymarks were just so-so. not just that, i dont feel like i do well for my finals either. apa apa pun resultnya, aku reda.  aku totally could have done better. tapi takpe. biasalah pasang surut belajar. first timer pulak tu kan. jujur cakap kecewa. tapi tak apa. benda pun dah jadi.  just do better next sem, bat.  anyway heres a screenshot of our photo post-finals. 4 out of six are asidians btw hehe
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3/6 final papers are done!

oh dear diary.. i am halfway through my final weeks.  and it was not as relieving as i thought it would be. i am haunted by the nonsense that i wrote in my buku jawapan. sometimes i still recall more brilliant ideas that i shoulfve wrote. tapi takpe. semoga lebih semangat  tapi tah la i feel hopeless la for my first semester ni.  my carry mark does not reflect the effort that i put in, my test mark are hell of a kind, my finals sucks. i dont even know if its going to continue looking like this man ts is stresssing me uppp also i met a boy. if this isnt my downfall story.. 
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2025 was a year of answered prayers

2025 was a series of answered prayers. I often write about how sad or devastated I am.. or how adversely affected I am thru out 2025. but the reality is... i was blessed. really.  2025, saya paling bersyukur untuk keluarga saya. saya paling bersyukur kerana Allah masih pinjamkan ibu bapa saya kepada saya. 2025 transformed me into a person that cling A LOT to my family.  January, I started my second (and final) semester for foundation a.k.a the best era of my life. I was partially clueless on the industry but my course started to feel a lot more natural on me as compared to sem 1. The journey was a whole rollercoaster ride. I started to value my time there.  "How I wish I would not have to leave this place", God knows I dont mind being stuck there forever. The lecturers are nice, my family is happy, I am happy with my housemates, and I have a good support system there. And me myself am doing well there. I have never felt happier. Which was weird. Because this time around, ...
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me!

Hi. I am Batrisyia Delaila. A shy, timid girl from a small town, Kajang.  I once was labeled as the quiet kid in the classroom. THE MOST BISU.  Worry not, all gud now. I’ve learned how to speak… and I’ve barely stopped ever since. Accidentally jerut myself into the chaos of degree that I, Batrisyia Delaila, half-consciously and not knowing what to expect, applied for. I hope I will make it out alive. ok yada yada,  Hereby I attach links of where you may connect with me! first.. go here if u want to have a formal first impression of me lol but srsly it is just a goofy goofy one. me is still learning (less judging, more encouraging plis) =   linkedin   then, go  here if u want to see my instagram that i... only post on my closefriends. my friend once said that she feels like i wont even post my wedding picture lol  here my rojak  spotify  account. u name it, i listen to all kinds.  no i dont have twitter. sorry. (i used to, but i ha...
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still confused, but it is fine :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I guess this is one of those nights when I randomly decide to write something here. At one point, I feel okay, I feel fine, I feel satisfied. and the very next second, I feel completely useless, as if I’ve done nothing in my life. I feel mediocre and desperately want to climb out of this mediocrity. I hope good things await me… and for now and always: sabr , la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah . Honestly it is a bit too painful for me to live like this, tapi ini kan prosesnya. Aku tak sepatutnya compare life aku dengan sesiapa. It is good enough I get a placement for the course that I am dying to get into. Aku pun tak pasti sebenarnya apa yang aku kejar. Tapi aku tahu  yang aku tengah kejar sesuatu. aku bukan lah tak pasti, tapi aku tak sure aku nak disclose ke tak lol. Tolong doakan aku dapat benda yang aku kejar sangat ni. HONESTLY aku cakap aku "tak pasti apa yang aku kejar" sebab aku tak sure whether it's good or not for me. And aku tak pa...
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can i begin again? (3 weeks in AIKOL)

what are these feelings? what am i even chasing? what am i doing here? am i doing the right thing for myself? is this the right path? is this how it's supposed to feel? am i learning anything here?  am i 5 week behind? such questions linger in my head, echoing , for the past few weeks.  am i.. capable of this? is this... really what i want to do with my life? These thoughts keep on haunting me.. This place is something else. I dont know how to word it, but it is just.. different. and it seems like the world wont lend me much time to adapt with all these changes. 
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close my eyes, fantasize.

for as long as i have lived, i have always tried to feel content with my life and accept my qadr.. those two things: accept my qadr, be content.  i tried, i really tried. and i try to be my best, pushing through every thing. trying to do every thing possible, trying to utilize and make the most out of every opportunity.  i try to obtain everything that i can. but in reality, we just cannot expect life to favour us all the time.  Today, yet again, i faced another rejection. but this time, it is not in my fault. and  am beyond saddened because i did all i could to make this one work.  i really want to scream of how much i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to face the consequences of someones rookie mistake.  i really want to publish that article i wrote on clj. and now, it is RUINED. all the absolute hope is broken, stolen. maybe the fact of this situation is not as crazy or saddening if u read it, but it's the principle. i pour everything that i could. and n...
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mindless talking before AIKOL interview #crashout

 i really dont understand the science behind me wanting to write before a very big moment that i surely neeed to prepare for. but tonight, i cant help myself from not writing.  funny how i learn law yet nothing is ever just to me.  Tonight, i feel very little. i feel very helplesss, i feel very alone. i know it is wrong for me to compare the treatment that i n my other siblings received from our parents. i know that as a 19 years old, this is very very childish of me, very inconsiderate of me. but can i be all that negative words, just for tonight? i know that there are many variables that contribute to the difference of the treatment received. one of the most obvious is that.. my parents are getting older and older, all they want now is peace of mind. I dont deny that. even me myself, i would prefer peace over anything at that age. but tonight, can you look at me as in the real me. i am just a girl, asking my parents to parent me. i need support too, i need those words o...
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