letters from the vault

Hi, 4 days until I register for university. Such a bittersweet feeling. Once I leave this house, I won't belong here anymore. This house will just be a place I used to spend all my life, and where I seek refuge during semester breaks. It's a bit funny to me because I've never been far from home allll my life. Also, I'm quite nervous about learning law subjects since it's something very, very new to me. It will definitely take time to get my brain tuned to think like a law student. May Allah ease this journey, may Allah smooth my path in seeking knowledge. It seems like I've been rejected for all 6 scholarships I applied for, so... I am determined to achieve 4.0 GPA in UPU and UiTM. UPU seems achievable, but UiTM seems difficult sebab cara dia kira tu macam much more stricter than UPU, BUT NOW THAT I AM SO SO SO PISSED OFFFFFFF. ko tengok je k. memang aku kasi jadi.  Okay, back to packing. I haven't bought anything. Let's just bring whatever I have. Which...

Ya Allah Ya Rahim, im writing this late late at night after discovering that i was rejected by YTP. Sad is not exactly what im feeling right now because applying for ytp wasnt THAT consuming of my effort. there was no chance given, no interview, no assessment. so i think it is safe to say that it was 100% based on luck (and maybe your household income since it's MARA). what im experiencing now is the feeling of losing hope. i havent received any email from petronas too. the feeling of despair has took in charge of me tonight. at this point, i am unsure of my current course of action in life. where have my aspiration gone? i dont feel passionate, i dont feel driven.  Ya Allah, i beg you for your mercy and your guidance. show me the way Ya Allah Ya Kabir. if pursuing law at uitm is the best for me, bless my soul with the feeling or certainty. teguhkan hati aku Ya Allah. only You know best. Ya Allah, janganlah kau bolak balikkan hatiku setelah aku yakin dengan sesuatu. i beg you Ya Al...