Posts

Showing posts from June, 2025

close my eyes, fantasize.

for as long as i have lived, i have always tried to feel content with my life and accept my qadr.. those two things: accept my qadr, be content.  i tried, i really tried. and i try to be my best, pushing through every thing. trying to do every thing possible, trying to utilize and make the most out of every opportunity.  i try to obtain everything that i can. but in reality, we just cannot expect life to favour us all the time.  Today, yet again, i faced another rejection. but this time, it is not in my fault. and  am beyond saddened because i did all i could to make this one work.  i really want to scream of how much i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to face the consequences of someones rookie mistake.  i really want to publish that article i wrote on clj. and now, it is RUINED. all the absolute hope is broken, stolen. maybe the fact of this situation is not as crazy or saddening if u read it, but it's the principle. i pour everything that i could. and n...