letters from the vault

 i really dont understand the science behind me wanting to write before a very big moment that i surely neeed to prepare for. but tonight, i cant help myself from not writing.  funny how i learn law yet nothing is ever just to me.  Tonight, i feel very little. i feel very helplesss, i feel very alone. i know it is wrong for me to compare the treatment that i n my other siblings received from our parents. i know that as a 19 years old, this is very very childish of me, very inconsiderate of me. but can i be all that negative words, just for tonight? i know that there are many variables that contribute to the difference of the treatment received. one of the most obvious is that.. my parents are getting older and older, all they want now is peace of mind. I dont deny that. even me myself, i would prefer peace over anything at that age. but tonight, can you look at me as in the real me. i am just a girl, asking my parents to parent me. i need support too, i need those words o...

looking back 12 months from now, i have lived many lives. in 2024, i finished my high school, sat for THE spm, received the RESULT, met soooo many amazing minds while trying to place my humble self in this world, got rejected many many times, got the result for UPU, first time ever being apart from my family- managing my own life from the sun rise till it sets. crazy. single-handedly figuring out uni life, which i innitially had zero clue on how it works? what da hell in the world is this week system? why am i getting all the assignment at the first week on the first class?? surely was panicking my ass on that first week of August. then, my first time ever trying to complete group assignment.. "ohhh theres rubric that i need to comply with" "oh, i may consult this with my lecturer" "oh.. kena booking for consultation? i thought after class should be fine?" "aik, tak belajar lagi kena buat task camni dah? cane nak buat ni" tak campur lagi with my ...